AAR 22/02/11

(A little late, but work gets in the way of writing this nonsense!)

Speedy arrived at the 19 Squadron dispersal hut, fresh for the start of another campaign. No sooner had the allies given Jerry a bloody nose and sent him packing, he was up to his old tricks again. Parking his bike, he removed his sparkly helmet, elbow pads, knees pads, and bicycle clips then entered the hut. He was met with the now familiar smell, of Greg’s Matey Sailor Bubble Bath. Though not really in keeping with the butch, beer swilling squadron reputation, everyone agreed it was a vast improvement from the previous offering of ‘eau de cat pee’ from Bader the squadron’s 3-legged cat.

Glancing around, Speedy recalled that the squadron had undergone more changes in recent months, most notably another change of CO. Under the stewardship of Mjdixon the squadron had become a professional outfit with official AAR forms, Film Unit, and regular training sessions. It was during one of these training sessions, as the squad was settling down to watch one of Dezey’s new French films, when the old CO burst in.
“Ahh, crap. You’re still here. Well I’m back, and…..what is that smell?”

He went on to explain he had undergone changes and that Dojo was no more, and now everyone must call him Mattson. The resulting grunts of, “whatever”, “Dojo who?” and “can I change my name to Canfield” seemed to give approval. Speedy had to point out that the WAF uniform mattson was sporting was not official attire for a CO.
“Ah, erm yes. Is it the weekend? No… erm. Undercover work! That’s right. I’ve been on a secret, need to know, undercover mission, and you lot don’t need to know, so we won’t mention it again, that’s an order.”

So in the interest of good comms it was then decided to watch Karate Kid to get the correct pronunciation of his new name.

Other pilots had come and gone in recent months. Bonifatus had defected to the Axis to the disgust of all Allies. Promptly defecting back to the disgust of all Axis. Only then to defect once again to the delight of the Allied and the disgust of the Axis. Zenior was on long term leave, but could be seen sometimes in the squadron mess and forums.

New to the squad was a European ally going by the name of Vienna. As he was introduced to the squadron, he was met with a chorus “it means nothing to me!!” “ahhh Vienna!!” then a fit of girly giggling led by Dezey. Sleeping through most of school, Speedy made a mental note to find out where Vienna is on Wikipedia, that is if he could figure out how to turn the squadron computer on.

Coming back to matters at hand, Speedy checked the flight roster to see who was on tonight. MJ, Speedy and Dezey were Red Flight. “are you not with us tonight Greg?”
“No,” came a voice from behind the hastily erected bath privacy screen, “I’m finishing my bath, then off on leave, have fun with your BBs. Spit 2s will no doubt be in when I’m back! …Pass me that towel”.

Grabbing his gear, Speedy faintly heard someone say “Quick, he’s coming let’s go!” then the sound of merlin engines starting up. Running out to his Spit 1, he could see MJ and Dezey already taxing out to the runway.
“Fire her up, there’s a good chap!” Speedy yelled to Britney his faithful ground crew. Noticing Britney’s WAF uniform Speedy said, “you’re undercover as well eh? good man, I must say you make a much more convincing lass than the CO.” “Chocks away”

Lifting, Speedy soon formed up with MJ and Dezey and climbed to Angels 20 to patrol the southern sector were Jerry was pushing on Stenay. Eager to keep their alt Red flight patrolled at high level with no contacts, until Dezey spotted a contact just above cloud level north of Stenay. MJ gave Dezey the nod to dive in, with Speedy following a few seconds after to perfom a slash attack. Speedy scored hits on the 109, but his spitfire started to compress in the dive and Speedy had to level out slowly losing precious altitude, and vis on the contact. Dezey and Speedy now tried to gain height, just as MJ called more contacts coming in from the north. There were now 5 109s, with alt, speed and firepower advantage.

MJ ordered the flight to dive out to the southwest to Stenay, in the hope there may be friendly aircraft and AA. The 109s duly followed, and the flight were now embroiled in a twisting turn fight at low level, with nowhere to run. Fortunately, there was friendly AA in Stenay but the flight was still outnumbered with more 109s and a 110 turning up. Desprately trying to clear each others six, each scored hits on the relentless 109s, Speedy saw Dezey explode one 109, and saw at least 2 more crash into the ground. Speedy, already smoking, now took a critcal hit to the head and was down. The weight of numbers meant that Dezey and MJ could not hold out and were also downed not longer after.

Quickly recovering from his head wound, Speedy was back in the dispersal hut within a few minutes, shortly followed by the shaken but not stirred Dezey, and the fuming MJ slamming the staff car door. A quick tally found that they had accounted for three 109s in the melee, but with none of the flight returning safely it was not a great start to the campaign.

Speedy took the squadron mess to console himself with a good pint. After downing his beer, he put on his helmet, pads and clips, removed the sticks from his bicycle wheels and set off home.

Another classic as always.

Although I'm not sure what this Wikipedia thing is, the only thing I've been able to work out on the Squadron Computer is how far away Reims Airfield is and how long it will take to get there at full speed with 6 109s chasing us.



And what makes you think I was fuming? I'm always calm, cool and collected, just ask the ladies!

Absolutely bloody brilliant Speedy !

btw Is that tearful tart in the vid MJs sister ?